The Pawan Suri method of removing water from the ear: Tilt your head to the side with the affected ear facing up. Now drip a small amount (5-10 drops) of water into the affected ear (from a cup or the palm of your hand). As the water enters your ear canal, you will feel a “give” as it breaks through the “air-lock” that is trapping the water. Now tilt the head the other way and let all the water drip out….you ear is now clear. This always works.
I was supposed to do stuff today. Then I had brunch with my “friends.” It made me want to cry, then sucked out any desire to do anything to better my life. Why shouldn’t my apartment be a pile of dirty clothes and detritus? I had a nice dinner in with a friend from a different crowd last night and it was enjoyable. I was glad to see that there are some people whose company I can still enjoy, but it is just so frustrating to be around the people who used to ‘get’ me, and now feel like foreigners to me. After all is said and done, I get to spend most of my time socializing with my parents like a little child. The closest I have to someone I can open up to about my thoughts and feelings is my dad. It’s great that I have him, but my friendships are just phony and silly and worthless. Why do I even bother?
I don’t really cry very much anymore. Maybe it’s because I’m medicated, or maybe the well of tears has just dried up for awhile. Maybe it’s the intended effect of trying to avoid as many overt reminders as possible. But I can still feel that constant ache, the straps cinched tight around my chest from my belly to my throat, pressing into my pounding heart and wheezing lungs. I can feel the intense build-up of pressure, but there is no valve to release it. It will choke me, but for now it seems I will no longer drown.